What would you do?

I put my dollar in the machine, made my selection,

watching as the M&M's slowly rolled toward the edge.

I leaned a little bit to the right when I realized my M&M's might not drop.

I wasn't surprised when the the coil stopped turning

and the M&M's hanging sideways showed no sign of dropping.

I didn't shake the machine, but I thought about it.

I tapped on the glass, but that didn't do anything.

I pressed the coin return button and shockingly,

I heard the plink of coins!

I hesitated, then took the gamble.

The quarters slid down the slot and I held my breath.

The coil rolled again, dropping the M&M's.

I smiled, patted the machine, and enjoyed my lucky day.

Arizona

We left Monday, September 19th for Scottsdale Arizona. Flew into Phoenix, rented a car and headed to the Grand Canyon. We spent the night in Flagstaff, and left early Tuesday morning finishing our drive to the Grand Canyon. I was so taken with the beauty of Arizona. The blue sky and desert cactus, the wide open view - being able to see for miles and miles, the openness was so all encompassing.

We went to Philmont, New Mexico last year, I have to say, I fell in love with New Mexico. I fell in love with Arizona too. I love the Saguaro cactus forest, the tall pine trees and aspens. The gully's/arroyo's/gulches (take your pick). Beautiful mountains graced the landscape constantly dragging my eyes to their unassuming height in their desert setting. As we crossed Big Bug Creek, I wondered about the bug that inspired that name. I found a peaceful, tranquil beauty as we drove the back roads to the Grand Canyon. It was a lovely drive.

It was exciting to drive through the park entrance and find the visitor's center. We watched a movie about the park. Did you know it took 2 billion years to form. Every year it erodes the thickness of a piece of paper. When it was first discovered it was declared "worthless." But, "It is impossible not to be thunderstruck by the awesome sights laid out on such an epic scale. In one word, incomparable." That is how I felt, thunderstruck, it was awesome, it was GRAND!

It was hard to leave and I felt sad to go, but there wasn't any way to bring the Grand Canyon with me except as a treasured memory. (And a rock to sit on the sidewalk!)

As usual, my man Shane, was with me. We walked along some of the trails they have along the rim of the canyon. He is terrified of heights, but he bravely stood by the edge so I could get a view of the canyon behind him. (He wasn't as close as it looks.)

As I was leaving to fly home I was enjoying the beauty of Phoenix one last time, the cactus and wispy flowers and the funny trees that grow crooked, and even though red gravel is their grass, it was still beautiful to me. I was filled with that "loving Arizona" feeling and planning on coming back for a visit, but only a visit, because it's just too dang hot to live there!

Just one last look.

Dear Mom

I am missing you today and wondering what you might say to me if we could visit. I would tell you how much I miss you and stare at your sparkling blue eyes while you smiled at me, and I would be able to see your love for me in the depths of your eyes. I would walk over to you and we would hug tightly and I would hear your little laugh you give with your hugs. I would cling to you so I could soak in the comfort of your presence. We would visit and laugh away the time and then I would hear you say, "This has been such a nice visit," and your eyes would mist up as you would say, "I wish there weren't so many miles between us." So as I sit quietly with your memory, today, I feel the emptiness in my heart. I am sad your life with me is a memory now. My heart cries often and oh, how I miss you. I miss you.

Oh, and by the way, yes Mom, I would like something to eat! :)

I love you,
Kay Marie

Date Night

Another Friday night and we...



...went for Chinese food,
but discovered our favorite restaurant had closed.
So, we settled on Market Square...
(That's where we parked.)



...and ate crepes instead at "The French Market"
on Gay Street, while listening
to their live entertainment.
(Sorry the picture doesn't capture its ambiance.)

For dessert we bought ice cream bars.

We tried to stroll along the sidewalk,
but it was so crowded!
"Ya"ll know," but we forgot
"It's football time in Tennessee!"
The first game of the season and
most EVERYONE was in town,
ramping up for the game by dining
and walking on Gay Street.



We walked on Gay Street
and reminisced...
Back in the 1900's
the "Old City" was "the city" and
Shane's Grandparents went to
Market Square and sold
their produce and flowers
to make a living.

Through the years the "the city"
crept West and the "old city"
declined and was left to
ruin and decay, but it has now been
revitalized and is a wonderful place
to spend a Friday night date!

By the way...
I bought my Wedding dress in a little shop
on Gay Street 36 years ago.



And married this man.
Yup, that's my man.
We date every Friday night.

The Kiss

Mutt's true love was Carroll Reep. He wrote this and gave it to her on January 21, 1934...they were 16.

The Art of Kissing
By Carroll Reep

First know who you are going to kiss. Don't make a mistake although mistakes are good. Don't kiss everybody. Don't sit down and do it, stand up. Let your hat go any place out of the way. Put your right arm around her waist from the left, your left arm gently over her right shoulder. Send a little life down your left arm, but don't be in a hurry. Her right arm lies caressingly over your left shoulder; you are nearly heart to heart. Look down into her half closed eyes; gently but manfully press her to your bosom. Stand firm and don't be in a hurry. Her lips are almost open, lean slightly forward with your heart not your body. Take a good aim, don't hurry. The lips will meet, the eyes will close, the heart will open. (Don't be in a hurry.) Heaven opens before you. The world is far off under your feet like a meteor flashing across the evening sky.

Did they kiss? Mutt just smiled.

Pink Shoes

Sunday morning in the pew,
Is always an adventure, it's true.
A sweet little girl,
Who is my "new best friend,"
Has started an unfamiliar trend.
Upon my lap she usually wiggles
And the air is filled with all her giggles.
Today was different; she sat in her seat,
With pretty pink shoes upon her feet.
With my Hymn book open and ready to sing
I noticed the most unusual thing.
This sweet little girl,
Was still sitting on the pew,
And my lap was empty, oh howdy do!
Her little Legs were stretching out,
As she casually stated what she was about,
"I just want to put my feet in your lap."
And she had them there quick as a snap.
The organ played, the song began,
Yes, in church is where I am;
With a sweet little girl leaning back
And her pink shod feet upon my lap!

My New Treasure!

I went to Dorthy's Antique's and browsed through her old books and found a new treasure.
"The True Citizen." It was written in 1900.



"...for pupils in the seventh and eighth grades of school, it has been prepared with a view to meeting a real need of the times...the higher aspects of citizenship---the moral and ethical---have been seriously overlooked."

It is very inspirational and I found I wanted to work on my character or as the book states, "...the development of the natural faculties or the moral powers..."

Just a sampling: Humility

"We have the great need of this particular grace, and we ought to study its relation to our life in general; for we should often have reason to be ashamed of our most brilliant actions if the world could see the motives from which they spring."

"All really great men have been humble men in spirit and temper."

Then...George Herbert was ridiculed by his friends for serving a man whose horse had fallen as he helped him unload and then reload his cart. George said, "The thought of what he had done would prove music to him at midnight, for he felt bound, so far as was in his power, to practice that for which he prayed."

And this..."While humility thinks little of personal considerations, it thinks the more of character and principle. It is really a powerful aid to progress. When we realize how little we know, we shall earnestly strive to know more; when we feel how imperfect is our character, we shall make earnest efforts after improvement.

I love this..."The plan of the book is simple in the extreme. It consists of thirty-nine chapters---one for each week of the school year---by developing a higher type of citizenship, we will be a real service to our nation."

Inspired...I feel inspired to follow the plan and in thirty-nine weeks be a higher type of citizen, or in other words, "More Savior like thee."

Mom and Beds

Mom passed away on July 11th and a quietness has descended within my heart. She is near and yet so far away.

Mom always insisted we make our bed each morning, but after I married my bed has been unmade more often then not.

When I was home in February Mom would need to rest several times throughout the day. Each time she would get out of bed she would straighten the covers and make her bed. Every time!

I have a new outlook on making my bed now, and I have a good visit with Mom every morning as I make my bed. I washed the sheets and was bragging to myself about how well I make square corners and how the sheet and blanket's are even and straight on both sides. I know she would be pleased.

Will it last? We'll see.

But in the mean time my bed has been looking great everyday! :)

Confidence, Trust or Luck

Our family spent a wonderful, lovely, spectacular day at Metcalf Bottoms enjoying the water, shade and each others good company. The cliff became the center of every one's attention and eventually Afton and "Grammy Ma," (that would be me) were left by our selves at our "spot." About the time I was wondering how much longer they would be having fun Conan came to get us so we could share in the fun too. I asked Conan if he was going to leave his IPhone, he said no, so I put it in my pocket for safe keeping. After a pleasant stroll along the path amid the trees and poison ivy we made it to the cliff. What a spot! It was so great! The cliff a big rock about 6 or seven feet high was covered by the adults and big kids, some of the mid-size kids were in the river having all sorts of fun and the youngest ones were playing in a little side stream. Everyone was in complete bliss! In order to see the big kids jump off the cliff I had to cross to the other side of the river. I was wading across very confidently until I remembered I had Conan's IPhone in my pocket. All of a sudden all the rocks were slippery and the water was inching up past my knees. Was it my imagination or was the current really getting stronger? Noticing Conan and Cally looking a tad nervous caused unsettling feelings of distress and I wibble wobbled a little bit as I made my way across.

After building a dam with rocks, watching a couple of cat fish and catching a crawdad, it was time to go.

With great trepidation I started my way across the river. The easy part was easy. A lady let me hold her arm as I crossed an area of swift current. I made my way to a line of rocks thinking I could walk across, and as I took my first step doubts began flitting through my mind, thinking how one slick rock could plunge me and Conan's I Phone into the...

Scott came wading to over to me and said, "Why don't you let me help you." I said "I will be alright." He said, "I'll help you." Somewhere in the exchange I climbed on Scott's back for a piggy back ride. Forget the slippery rocks, swift current and deep water. I was absolutely confident my son would get me across the water dry. A man offered his help thinking I was in distress, but I proudly told him my son and I were in the process of safeguarding my other son's IPhone! Nearing the bank it occurred to me the three of us, Scott, Conan and I, may have been looking at things three different ways. I totally trusted Scott to carry me across the water, he confidently did, (or at least he seemed totally confident) and Conan perhaps was a little uncomfortable with the whole situation, after all it was his IPhone at stake. It was a relief to hand Conan his Phone and to no longer be responsible for all the memories it contained of our fantastic day at Metcalf Bottoms, not to mention all the other data that would have been lost if the phone would have ended up...but it didn't.

After all, I had Scott's back :)

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next Clue.........


There is a place where numbers are letters and letters are numbers - common to all - everyone has at least one.........


FCEQ MEDHAD

My Darling...

It was one of those moments of tenderness and tears. I was having a rough morning and I let it all out in a phone call to Shane. I know he was busy at work, but he listened and took all the time I needed, that alone made my day so much better. When he came home from work, he quietly slipped in the door, and when I came into the kitchen I heard a soft rustling sound as he quickly put something behind his back. He gave me a nice lingering hug and then brought a lovely white rose from behind his back as he said, "I love you." I couldn't help but cry...he loves me!

Umm B-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l!

Just One More...

Mother's Day post,

I promise...

For Mother's Day, Katie gifted me with the gift of Skype,

It has been a delight.

It is hard to wash dishes, do laundry

and other things I do when I am on the phone,

but dishes and laundry can wait.

I love watching her smile and laugh

as she says, "I know Mom."

It is a real person visit!

Being able to Skype is a priceless gift.

"Back in the day" :) when I was a young wife and mother,

two-thousand miles away from my family;

long distance phone calls were expensive

and calls home were few and far between.

When I was really homesick, I would go in the woods

behind Grandpa Cruzes's house and cry.

It was pitiful...

I endorse Skypeing to everyone!

Computer internet connection +

Webcam +

Skype (http://www.skype.com/) = Pure joy.

Go to the store now and buy a webcam.

Better yet go to http://www.walmart.com/ and order one.

"Only on line. Not sold in store.

$19.54 plus .97 cents shipping to home."

They will deliver it right to your door!

Don't just sit there, GO...buy one now,

RIGHT NOW!

Highlights from Mother's Day

This



PLus This




PLus ThIs




Plus This




EQuaLs This

I ATE it all!

A Comeback

Katie ordered a corsage for me for Mother's Day. I was pleasantly surprised. It was beautiful. She had read an article in Southern Living about some of the traditions that have been lost over the years, prompting her to order a corsage for me. I quote from the article:

"The Mother's Day Corsage

When I was a kid, if a mother came to church without a corsage from her children, the whole family went on everybody's prayerlist. Now almost nobody buys one, and that's a shame. Here's how it works. You choose the flowers for your mother's corsage based on whether her mother is living or dead. If her mother's living, she wears roses or carnations in pink or red. If her mother has crossed over, she wears white or yellow roses or an orchid. Everybody gets baby's breath. it's just the right thing to do."

Continuing on,

"Take the Pledge

Preserving our heritage takes commitment. We have to band together. So, ladies, wherever you are, stand up, raise your right hand, and repeat after me: I, (your name here), pledge to do my part to bring back the Mother's Day Corsage. I pledge to order corsages right this minute, before the florist runs out of the good stuff..."

This is the first time I have ever received a Mother's Day corsage, and I felt so special and honored. I was the only mother at church who wore one. I love that Katie read about this forgotten tradition and did her part to bring it back. Rachel thoughtfully helped her by picking it up from the florist. She was so excited for me to see it and with sparkling eyes she said, "There is something in the refrigerator for you from Katie." I appreciate that Shane offered to pin it on, but admitted very quickly he didn't know how and sent me across the drive way for Lori to help me.

It was amazing how one beautiful pink rose, combined with tiny flowers and some greenery could make me feel so special.

I am a traditionalist and gladly take the pledge and will help my sons teach their children to honor their mother's with a Mother's Day corsage each year for the rest of their lives.

Just so you know, because I didn't, you wear your corsage on the left shoulder...

Thank you, Katie, for taking the pledge and doing your part to bring back the Mother's Day Corsage!

There's No Place Like Home!

After spending 8 weeks with Suzi, it feels great to be home. I can't even begin to describe her strength. The surgery and radiation were devastating to her physically, emotionally and mentally, but her spirit lives on! Her sense of humor wore a little thin, but I loved when it popped out. We spent many, many quiet days, while she slept and slept and slept and I read and read and read. On her good days I taught her how to dance the Shuffle and we danced away! We made several friends who are suffering from cancer too, the bubbly gift shop lady and finally won over Dustin, the parking garage booth person, by giving him cookies and candy. I know he will miss us, or at least the candy and cookies anyway! I left Utah with a desire to become a much better person by being more attentive to the important details of life that seem to get lost in the everyday shuffle. I will always be thankful that I was blessed to share this experience with Suzi, it was very difficult to watch her suffer, but how powerful her example was as she gracefully accomplished all that she could do so that she will live longer and bless all of us with her life. The Lord has been kind in allowing us to have her here with us, it is a special blessing. So here's to Suzi, in the words of Spock may she, "Live long and prosper."

This Is a What?

This is an Aplet.



This is a Cotlet.

I know they look alike,
but Aplets are sweet.

and Cotlets are a little tangy.

Dad loved them,

but, as a child, they weren't on my list of favorites.

I had forgotten all about them until last Thursday, when Shane came home with a box of Aplets and Cotlets from Bishop Carlin. Stating, "He said you would know what they are."

It was a magic moment.

And instantly memories of Dad loving them filled my mind.

So, to honor Dad's memory,

I ate one...it was better then I remembered!

So I ate another one and then throughout the week

another and another...

In fact, I have acquired a taste for them.

And I ate them all!

One of the great things about them according to the box:

"One reason to love Aplets and Cotlets is

because they have a third less calories than chocolate!"

I would still take chocolate over Aplets and Cotlets,

but Dad would be proud of me for enjoying all of these for him.

I Wish

Mom holding me. Isn't she beautiful!
She loves so completely, so tenderly.
She is a bit of heaven on earth.

I have always known if I talked to Mom, everything would be alright...and it was.

I wish Mom could hold me one more time so I could feel the familiar assurance of her arms.

I wish when she hugged and kissed me good night she knew who she was kissing.

I wish I could sit in the kitchen and visit with her as the smell of baking bread filled the air, or eat one of her hot-out-of-the-pan scones, or any of the good food she use to make.

I wish I could hear her ask, "Are you hungry? Would you like a bowl of fruit and a piece of toast?" And I would say, "Yes" and watch her butter her love all over that toast for me.

I wish I could empty my troubled heart to her and hear her loving compassionate words, because I know her love for me is ever present and constant.

I wish I could listen to her talk and soak in all her wisdom.

I wish I could see her smile, hear her laugh and experience her zest for life the way it use to be.

I wish I could love as openly as she does.

I wish when she said, "Kay Marie" she understood I am her daughter and the light of recognition would sparkle in her eyes.

I wish she didn't think I am a nice lady that comes to visit her.

I want my Mom.
I need my Mom.
I miss Mom.

And I wish.

For Katie

I'll be home for Christmas...

You can count on me...


Your Heart is the Highest!


Um hmm. You better be good!

MeRRy ChristMaS!

When I Was Young: Episode 1

I was thinking about how long it has been since I have written a post and thought to myself it's like I dropped off a cliff...

When I was young whenever I would say, "Dad I'm hungry." He would say, "I'm cliff, drop over sometime."

Number 1: I thought "Cliff" was a person that Dad knew and I was ready to go to Cliff's house to eat. I would plead in my little girl voice, "Let's go to Cliff's house, I'm hungry." Dad just laughed.

Number 2: It wasn't until years later that I understood that "Cliff" was a mountain cliff, and why would I want to "drop over sometime."

What a witty guy! He loved to tease and had a great sense of humor. Now I laugh when I think about "Cliff," but I'm still convinced Dad knew "Cliff" personally and he had really good food...

Some days I really miss him. Dad, not Cliff.