I Wish

Mom holding me. Isn't she beautiful!
She loves so completely, so tenderly.
She is a bit of heaven on earth.

I have always known if I talked to Mom, everything would be alright...and it was.

I wish Mom could hold me one more time so I could feel the familiar assurance of her arms.

I wish when she hugged and kissed me good night she knew who she was kissing.

I wish I could sit in the kitchen and visit with her as the smell of baking bread filled the air, or eat one of her hot-out-of-the-pan scones, or any of the good food she use to make.

I wish I could hear her ask, "Are you hungry? Would you like a bowl of fruit and a piece of toast?" And I would say, "Yes" and watch her butter her love all over that toast for me.

I wish I could empty my troubled heart to her and hear her loving compassionate words, because I know her love for me is ever present and constant.

I wish I could listen to her talk and soak in all her wisdom.

I wish I could see her smile, hear her laugh and experience her zest for life the way it use to be.

I wish I could love as openly as she does.

I wish when she said, "Kay Marie" she understood I am her daughter and the light of recognition would sparkle in her eyes.

I wish she didn't think I am a nice lady that comes to visit her.

I want my Mom.
I need my Mom.
I miss Mom.

And I wish.

For Katie

I'll be home for Christmas...

You can count on me...


Your Heart is the Highest!


Um hmm. You better be good!

MeRRy ChristMaS!

When I Was Young: Episode 1

I was thinking about how long it has been since I have written a post and thought to myself it's like I dropped off a cliff...

When I was young whenever I would say, "Dad I'm hungry." He would say, "I'm cliff, drop over sometime."

Number 1: I thought "Cliff" was a person that Dad knew and I was ready to go to Cliff's house to eat. I would plead in my little girl voice, "Let's go to Cliff's house, I'm hungry." Dad just laughed.

Number 2: It wasn't until years later that I understood that "Cliff" was a mountain cliff, and why would I want to "drop over sometime."

What a witty guy! He loved to tease and had a great sense of humor. Now I laugh when I think about "Cliff," but I'm still convinced Dad knew "Cliff" personally and he had really good food...

Some days I really miss him. Dad, not Cliff.

Lydia Time

Lydia fed the ducks.

She would toss a piece of bread and say,
"Here you go ducks! Here's some bread for you!"


Old Goosey Lucy and Lydia stood eye to eye.



This is a Chuck, a cross between a chicken and a duck.
Kidding! I made that up, but he did look part chicken with the red on his head. He was a little intimidating because he was hissing instead of quacking.
Poor Chuck, he was really ugly!

Lydia had a great idea: "Let's go to McDonalds!"

She ordered a Happy Meal with chicken nuggets, french fries and chocolate milk. When I asked her if I could have a french fry she said, "No, not one!"

Lydia noticed the spots of tar on my car and said,

"Grandma, I love the polk-a-dots on your car. They look really good! When the rain washes them off, you can put some more on!"

Lydia was explaining the grandparent situation to me.

"There is Grammy, you're not Grammy, you're Grand-MA.

Then there is Grandpa."

I asked, "How do you know if you're talking about Grandpa Barber or Grandpa Cruze?"

Lydia: "Grandpa is Grandpa, but we can call Bacca whatever we want."

And by the way, pink is her favorite color!

Fun in the Sun

The yard looked soooo good after I raked the leaves!

The streak of sunshine caught my attention,

So I got my camera...

Stepped into it...

And had a lot of fun!

Katie's Challenge

No sugar: Desserts and candy
October 24th - December 15, 2009

The addicts: Katie, Kay, Rachel, Mandy, Katina and Suzi

My sugarless life:

1. After committing to no sugar I am filled with thoughts of temporary insanity. Thoughts of cheating fill my mind. The only thing that keeps me going is not to be the first addict to cave and my determination to win the $25 prize!

2. All my chocolate stashes flashed before my eyes.
E-v-e-r-y-o-n-e of them!

3. Utter panic and the cold sweats kick in when I think about being stash free.

4. The first real challenge: The chocolate birthday cake I made screams, “Eat a piece!” But I didn’t have one piece, not one bite, not one crumb!

5. I bought Halloween candy marked 50% off and laid it on the kitchen table and stared at it all afternoon. Addiction is tough.

6. The sneaks and emotional eating set in. After spending 2 hours with twelve 11 year old girls the stress relieving Hershey Kisses are all I can think about. I circled the candy dish a couple of times telling myself, “I could eat just one and no one would know.” But, I didn't!

7. Wandering aimlessly around the kitchen, looking in Oinky, opening the pantry door looking at the Oreo’s and chocolate covered grahams – is there anything, something that is sweet that would qualify as a sugar free snack. Nada.

8. Hormone levels cause the worse kind of sweets craving there is. Chips, crackers, popcorn…nothing helps. It was a bad junk food day…

9. Consoling one of the other competitors with words of encouragement, “If this is stressing you out, just quit. Maybe one snack a day would be better.” After feeling her pain for a few minutes I finally offered the right support and encouraged her not to give in. STAY STRONG! You can do it! She reminds me several times she is not a quitter.

10. I’m hoping the worse is over when grapes give me the same satisfaction as eating a piece of chocolate. When eating a banana or apple is as exciting as a piece of cake, but I’m still working on the veggies, their not the same as a cookie…yet!

I am enjoying the impressed look of the scoffers and skeptic’s who thought it couldn’t be done!

And oh, the sweet words of Shane saying, “Maybe I should stop eating sweets too…after I eat all the Chocolate Covered Grahams!”

A Toast Tutorial

Are you tired of toast that has crunchy edges?
Make perfect toast every time!

Grandma Clawson said, "I don't care how much butter you put on,
just make sure you get butter all the way to the edge."

Toast Tutorial

Ingredients:
Butter, softened
1-2 slices of bread

Toast your bread to the desired toastedness
(Yes, that is a word, I made it up.)

Using a butter knife, spread butter all the way to the edge.
Don't rush, take the time to butter ALL THE WAY TO THE EDGE.

Enjoy!
Grandma knew what she was talking about.

I'm going to make me a peice of toast right now!