When I was a young mother I would call my Mom and talk to her about what a long day I had with the kids and she would say tenderly, Kay Marie enjoy this time, they will be grown and gone before you know it."
She was right.
For now, with my yesterday's, today's and tomorrow's, I am caring for Thomas. We have been through the tender newborn days, hold me all the time days and right now we are in the maybe I can play by myself for a minute days. He has been napping with one eye open and one eye closed. He isn't missing anything that I know of.
Some where along the way I have stopped ironing Shane's clothes and find myself vowing each morning I am going to iron them the day before. Shane's "other drawer" use to mean the dryer, then it became the washer, now it is the hamper. Just now he is asking me if I will wash the gray shirt his mother gave him for Christmas so he can wear it tomorrow. SURPRISE, it is clean and hanging in the closet. I haven't vacuumed or dusted since Christmas and have repeatedly broken my "wash the dishes every night" rule. The list really is quite long!
But, I have watched a baby bloom from a sleeping beauty into a moving, vibrant, bundle of love. How could I pass up all the hours I have spent holding and rocking and singing to him while he breathes those sweet little baby sighs. Or when the moment came that he became aware of me. I traded a sparkling, gleaming house for his first smile, his first laugh and his almost first kiss. My heart is so tender when he puts his little hands on my cheeks and pulls his face close to mine and we share a soft moment of love. I love how he turns his little head and looks up at me with a great big smile when he is sitting on my lap. I love that he loves me.
Some days are long and he is cranky and cries not knowing what he wants and neither do I. Some days I do miss my freedom to come and go or do whatever I want...the laundry, clean the house, read a book, have lunch with Shane...all those things. Some days I find myself thinking about Mom and her wisdom because I too know this time will be over to quickly, this sweet gift...this moment in time for Thomas and me. On the day I fed Thomas squash for the first time Rachel called so excited to hear if he liked it and it tugged at my heart because I know she would give anything to be discovering the world with Thomas every single hour of every day and so I am loving Thomas for her.
This 53 year old and a baby live in our own little world discovering hands and feet and a mouth that can blow raspberries and make sweet baby sounds. Sharing long knowing stares into each others eyes where the depth of love is shown. And I know how precious he is. I appreciate what I didn't understand when my children were little...you can't rush love, it takes time.
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3 comments:
Way to make me cry. At 6:30 tonight I decided that I was going to put the boys to bed because it was better that thye were in bed than have me be cranky and yelly at them until they went to bed. I thought it was wisdom!!!:) Now thanks to your blog I feel like waking them up.
Gee whiz. You're good.
I cried, too, Katie.
The best thing about grandparenthood is that you have the insight, the wisdom, and the ability to combine the two, in order to understand how take in whole minutes like this...It really is a sweet time when you get to fully understand and soak into the inside of you what you only got glimpses of when you were busy being the mom! I loved it..made me wish I could hold those little hands that I miss so much.
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